Time Lord & Dark Lord: Oneshot
by Spinning Furret
Summary: A Time Lord named Cord lands in Hyrule and just so happens to encounter Vaati. Cord leaves, but Vaati snuck on board. But then Cord has the TARDIS go back to Hyrule and he shoves Vaati off-board.


The TARDIS was crashing. "No no no! Stop!" He shouted but the machine kept spinning towards the ground below. How he'd managed to slip between the only crack dividing the universes he didn't know, but the TARDIS was very unhappy.

* * *

Down below, towards southern Hyrule a sorcerer dressed in purple witnessed the most unusual sight of watching a red, British telephone box (not that he knew what it was - for him it was a strange-looking red box) crash into the ground a few paces away, doors banging open.

Out came a hook, one of the types used in mountain climbing it attacked to a rather large stone on the ground - something of a landmark and there was the noises of somebody grunting as he climbed out. Finally, somebody grabbed the edges of it and popped out, looking around with wide eyes and dripping wet. "Well. This isn't what I expected." He looked back down into his red box. "Interior dimensions unstable, oh that's going to be difficult to fix. Exterior dimensions in perfect shape though! Surprising, considering all the glass." He muttered to himself before clutching his chest. "Oh, not good, not good!" He exclaimed as he climbed out.

His head and hands started to glow with an alien yellow flame - regeneration was starting. Then the glow subsided. "Not yet, not now, it can't happen now, too soon, far too soon..."

The sorcerer was in such shock that he failed to speak while the above went on. Whoever it was finally seemed to notice the sorcerer. "Oh hello. And who might you be?"

He clutched his chest again and groaned in pain and the glow seemed to momentarily return. "Actually, never mind."

The glow returned and then he flashed and there was a new person there. Whereas the previous person was rather young looking, with green eyes and brown hair, the new person was a bit older, white-haired with an intense stare of purple eyes. He looked at the sorcerer and his faced moved closer to the sorcerer, eyes wide. He blinked to himself and shook his head a bit. He felt his new body. "Purple eyes! That's a change. New lungs as well. White hair, intense gaze, vast intelligence still there... hmm, not the short end of the stick I expected. A timely change! I rather like it. You?"

"So you're a face-changer." The sorcerer looked unimpressed.

"Face-changer?" The person seemed confused. "What in the blazes are you talking about?" He stopped abruptly. "Mm, a bit more short-tempered than I'd like. Certainly more vulgar as well. Maybe I did get bad card after all." He shook himself a bit. "No, not a face-changer, a Time Lord." He knocked on his head. "I'm one of the highest caliber, as well, though it could be argued all Time Lords are of the highest caliber. Bit more arrogant, as well. Will have to make note of that. Still have that bit in the Vault to make as well..." He stood over the entrance of the red box. "Oh, that's nasty. Very nasty." He flinched again. "Very nasty. That's going to take a bit of repair."

"Time Lord. What would that be?"

"A Lord of Time." He muttered exasperated. "Hello, I'm Cord, good to meet you, purple boy."

The sorcerer's eye twitched. "You look Hylian. Except for the ears."

"No, you look Time Lord, except for the ears, and we were here first. Or at least I think we were. I've never been to this universe. Tell me, what's the level of technology here?" Cord asked.

He looked around, a finger held up to indicate the sorcerer be quiet and sniffed the ear. "Aha! That certainly explains a lot."

The sorcerer extended his hand and froze Cord in his place. "Explain who you are. Now."

Cord looked around, frozen for a moment before returning to normal. "Low-level trionisic energy field. You have an unusually high concentration of it. That certainly explains the lack of even the most primitive technology, the easily-presumed belief in magic, the extraordinarily backwards belief system already in place. Why did I have to land in such a dismal place."

"Purple boy, could I ask for your aid using that fancy field of yours?" Cord asked.

"My name is Vaati. You would do well to remember it." The sorcerer snarled, increasingly enraged by what Cord was saying.

"If you could just lift my box out of the ground I would be most grateful." Cord said, ignoring Vaati's increasing ire.

Vaati's eyebrows raised, suddenly speculative. "And what would I get out of this?"

Cord's eyes glittered in the twilight of the sky. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Vaati, unable to suppress his curiosity, pointed his hand and lifted the box of the ground and stood it on the ground. The doors had long since closed. Cord walked to the doors slowly. "What do you have for me now?" Cord breathed, pushing open the doors.

The sight that greeted him was truly excellent. The control room of the TARDIS was darker and neater, nothing like the steampunk-like appearance of before. The walls were adorned in hexagonal roundels that glowed the green light. The main control console was neater and less ridiculous as it was before. The Time Rotor had changed from an iron-looking, mesh-grated monstrosity to three curved, ebony pieces. "C'est magnifique." He breathed outward. He popped his head back out. "Won't take but a minute. Redesigned TARDIS, doesn't happen very often. Hop from here to three thousand light-years away should do it." The doors closed and the TARDIS faded out, disappearing, before fading back in.

Cord came out in different clothing. "Had to change clothing. By the way, the planet Prosperone is excellent this time of year." Cord's clothing was a long, blue trenchcoat that just hit the ground and dragged when he walked. For a shirt he had a long-sleeve dark-blue one on, with dark brown pants and black shoes.

Cord reached his hand out and shook Vaati's. "Good to meet you, really was, but I must be off." He turned around and headed back to his TARDIS.

"Just a minute." Vaati interrupted as he reached the doors. "Who are you? What are you?"

Cord winked. "I'm Cord. I'm a Time Lord." He paused and gathered his breath. "Have a good life." Cord waved good-bye as he entered the TARDIS.

Cord flipped a few switches and Vaati entered just as the TARDIS began to de-materialize.

"It's bigger on the inside." Vaati muttered, looking around. "Even the strongest of magic can't do that."

"That's because it's not magic." Cord interrupted. "It's dimensionally transcendental thanks to Warp Matrix Engineering, a Space-Time Event formed from Block-Transfer Mathematics."

"How is this possible?" Vaati wondered.

"Very complicated, thousands of years of evolution. Your planet or wherever you come from... according to the TARDIS - mine always did have a thing for parallel universes - Hyrule will never reach such a technologically advanced state nor become Higher Evolutionaries... won't advance much in technology, either. You will get trains, though, eventually... good lord, split timelines due to some hero... a sword... great big battle... oh, in one of these you're apparently some great flying eyeball monster... A piece of alien tech must have landed here for time distortions to be so bad as to allow three parallel timelines to co-exist... hmmm, some benevolent Higher Evolutionaries watching over you, you call them Goddesses, the ignorance..." Cord muttered. "Not my problem, however, you're going straight back to Hyrule."

The TARDIS re-materialized back in Hyrule. "Your world, not mine, not my problem, I'm not going to get involved in this." Cord muttered rapidly to himself as he pushed Vaati out, slammed the doors, bolted them, and left.


End file.
